New Riddles With Answers - page 43 of 53
What do computer programmers sing in the shower?
Wordplay — "Disc-o" combines a computer "disc" with the music genre "disco."
What do bumblebees sing in the shower?
Wordplay — "BeeBop" combines "bee" with the music genre "bebop."
What does a newspaper reporter use to dry himself after his shower?
It's a pun on 'paper' -- since a reporter works with the paper, he dries off with paper towels.
Why did the shower bar turn red?
Wordplay — like a person blushing when caught without clothes, the bar "turns red" when its towel falls off, exposing it.
What kind of sandwich sinks to the bottom of the tub?
Wordplay — a "submarine" sandwich shares its name with a submarine vessel, which dives underwater.
What does a toilet with a funny accent have?
Wordplay — "irritable vowel syndrome" sounds like "irritable bowel syndrome," a play on the toilet's bathroom connection.
What do fathers sing in the shower?
Wordplay — "Pop" is both a music genre and a nickname for "father."
How did the chimp fix the leaky faucet?
Wordplay — a "monkey wrench" is a real tool name that fits a chimp, a type of monkey, fixing something.
A woman has three children: MoroEbi, MoroPet, and Laura...In what room is Laura.
Read the names aloud — "MoroEbi" sounds like "More or Bee" and "MoroPet" like "More or Pet," leading into "What Room?" as the answer.
What do you call a ghost who ran out of toilet paper?
Wordplay — a ghost's "sheet," its costume, sounds like the phrase "out of luck," toned down to "sheet out of luck."
What do you call a person who crosses the road twice without taking a shower?
Wordplay — "double-crosser" means crossing twice, and "dirty" refers to not showering, together forming the phrase for a betrayer.
What did one toilet say to the other?
Wordplay — "flushed" means both reddened in the face and the toilet flushing.
What do steel workers sing in the shower?
Wordplay — "Heavy Metal" is both a music genre and a description of the steel workers' trade.
Why do criminals shower so often?
Wordplay — a "clean getaway" describes both a successful escape and being physically clean.
Each day many people come and visit me, however, they usually only stay for a few minutes...What am I?
People use a toilet briefly and regularly throughout the day, then leave.
When you are wet and it is dry and if you use it, it becomes wet but you're completely dry. What is it?
The towel starts dry, absorbs the water off your body, and ends up wet while you end up dry.
How can you make a needle float?
The tissue paper supports the needle on the water's surface tension until the paper dissolves and sinks away, leaving the needle floating.
The more you dry yourself with me the more I get wet. What am I?
A towel absorbs the water it wipes off you, so drying you off makes the towel wetter.
A farmer has never taken a shower in his life. He gets dirty every day...How is this possible?
A trick question — the farmer stays clean by bathing, just never by showering.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road?
Wordplay — "crack" refers to both a crack in the road and slang for a part of the body toilet paper is used near.
Why did the prisoner take a shower before he broke out of jail?
Wordplay — a "clean getaway" means an escape without getting caught, punning on being physically clean from the shower.
Imagine you are on a sinking raft in the middle of the Pacific with great white sharks surrounding you...How do you stop this predicament?
A trick question — since the scenario is only imagined, you can escape it simply by stopping the imagining.
What does the Easter Bunny do after it takes a shower?
Wordplay — "Hare dryer" sounds like "hairdryer," and "hare" is another word for rabbit.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Wordplay — "bottom" means both the base of the hill and the part of the body toilet paper is used for.
Which rock singer really, REALLY needs a shower?
The pun combines 'mud' with the singer's name Madonna to form 'Mud-donna,' implying she's covered in mud.
Why do you never bring a Pokemon into the bathroom with you?
Wordplay — "Pikachu" sounds like "peek at you," an invasion of bathroom privacy.
Why didn't the skeleton use a towel?
"Bone dry" is an idiom for being completely dry, punned here because a skeleton is literally made of bone.
What do you call a tree that has been TP'ed?
This is a pun combining 'toilet paper' with 'tree' to form 'toiletry'.
How can people without noses smell?
Wordplay — "smell" here means giving off an odor, not the sense of smell, since skipping showers makes a person smell bad.
You go in me for brushing, For flushing, For rushing; But please go in me one at a time...What am I?
Brushing teeth, flushing the toilet, and rushing in and out are all bathroom activities.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
The more a towel dries something else, the more moisture it absorbs itself.
On a fine sunny day a ship was in the harbor. All of a sudden the ship began to sink...What caused the ship to sink?
A submarine is designed to submerge, so it wasn't sinking by accident — it was simply diving underwater as intended.
If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
Wordplay — "Mayflowers" sounds like "Mayflower," the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America.
What happened to Einstein when he took a shower?
Wordplay — "brain-washed" literally means washing in the shower and figuratively means having your mind changed.
I am wet when drying. What am I?
A towel gets wetter the more it dries something else off, since it absorbs the moisture.
If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?
Wordplay — "Hiss," a snake sound, replaces "His" in the classic "His and Hers" towel set.
In the NBA, how many men are on the basketball court for each team?
Each NBA team fields five players on the court at a time — "ten" would be both teams combined.
What do you call a basketball game with no ball?
Removing "ball" from "basketball" simply leaves "basket," describing a ball-less basket game.
What did the hoop say to the basketball?
A play on the wish "may all your dreams come true," swapped for "swishes," the sound of a clean basketball shot.
A man takes a basketball and throws it as hard as he can. There is nothing in front, behind, or on either side of him, and yet, the ball comes back and hits him square in the face. How can this be?
Gravity brings a ball thrown straight up back down to the same spot, hitting the thrower.
What is a good restaurant for a basketball team?
Wordplay — "Dunkin'" sounds like "dunking," a basketball slam dunk.
Why don't chickens play baseball?
Wordplay — "fowl," a bird, sounds like "foul," a baseball term for a ball hit outside the field of play.
There was a man who everybody called Batman he knew nothing about bats and thought they were gross. He still loved it when people called him Batman! How could this be?
"Batman" here refers to a baseball player who bats well, not the superhero, so his dislike of actual bats doesn't matter.
What's the first game in the Bible?
Wordplay — "big inning" sounds like "beginning," and Eve/Adam "stealing" bases refers to the baseball term for advancing without a hit.
Why can't turtles play baseball?
Turtles are famously slow, so they'd struggle to run all the way to home plate.
Where do great dragon baseball players go?
Wordplay — "Hall of Flame" sounds like "Hall of Fame," fitting for a fire-breathing dragon.
A man is running home, where he meets 2 men with masks on. Then he runs away from home. What is this man's job?
Running toward "home" plate, the man passes the catcher and umpire, both of whom wear protective masks.
I play on a diamond, I play fair, I always get dirty, And then I run home. What Am I?
'Diamond' refers to a baseball field, 'run home' refers to scoring by reaching home plate, and sliding in the dirt makes the player dirty.
What position do pigs play on the baseball field?
'Short-stop' puns on the baseball position and a pig's characteristically short, stout legs.
Why was the chef hired to coach the baseball team?
Wordplay — "batter" means both a baseball hitter and a cooking mixture.
What song was the baseball player singing on third base?
A player on third base is one step from scoring by reaching "home" plate, referencing the famous line from The Wizard of Oz.
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team has 9 players, 18 legs, who "catch flies," meaning fly balls.
What was the spider doing on the baseball team?
Wordplay — "catching flies" is baseball slang for catching fly balls, and also literally what spiders do.
Why was the baseball player's food always dirty?
The pun uses 'plate' as both home plate in baseball and a dinner plate, so stepping on home plate 'dirties' his food's plate.
Where do coal diggers play baseball?
Wordplay — "miner," a coal digger, sounds like "minor," as in the minor leagues.
Why did the baseball coach hire a piano player?
Wordplay — "pitch" means both a musical note and throwing the baseball.
Why is the baseball field hot after a game?
Wordplay — "fans" means both spectators and cooling devices; once the crowd (fans) leaves, there's no breeze.
Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
In baseball, the pitching (defensive) team always holds the ball, while the batting team can score runs without ever touching it.
A guy was waiting at home, he swung a metal pole then took 3 left turns, and on his way back home there was a masked man waiting for him. What is he doing and who is the masked man?
The "metal pole" is a bat, "3 left turns" traces the bases, and the "masked man" is the catcher wearing his protective mask.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Wordplay — "catch" refers to both catching the ball and the common farewell phrase "catch you later."
What kind of key do you use on Thanksgiving?
Pun splitting 'turkey' into a word that sounds like 'tur-key', a type of key.
Why didn't the turkey finish its dessert?
Wordplay — "stuffed" means both full from eating and the turkey's stuffing cooked inside it.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Wordplay — "chicken" means both the bird and slang for being cowardly, so the turkey proves it isn't afraid.
Why did they let the turkey join the thanksgiving band?
Wordplay — "drumsticks" are both a musical instrument part and a cut of turkey meat, the leg.
Who is never hungry during Christmas?
Play on words: 'stuffed' means both full of food and literally stuffed with dressing before roasting.
Where does a rabbit go for shampoo?
Wordplay — "hare-dresser" sounds like "hairdresser," and "hare" means rabbit.
How many hairs are in a bunny rabbit's tail?
A play on words — hairs grow "out" of the tail rather than being "in" it, since none are inside the body.
How can you say rabbit without using the letter R?
"Bunny" is another common word for rabbit that contains no letter R.
Do rabbits use combs?
Wordplay — "hare brushes" sounds like "hairbrushes," and "hare" is another word for rabbit.
What type of music do rabbits listen to?
Wordplay — rabbits "hop," which sounds like the "hop" in hip hop music.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Wordplay — a karate "chop" combines with "pork" to make "porkchop," also a cut of pig meat.
Why did Momma Pig leave her husband?
Wordplay — "boar," a male pig, sounds like "bore," meaning dull or uninteresting.
Why can't you play basketball with pigs?
Wordplay — "hog" means to selfishly keep something to yourself, and pigs are also called hogs.
You walk into a room with a rabbit holding a carrot, a pig eating slop, and a chimp holding a banana. Which animal in the room is the smartest?
The riddle's trick is that the person reading it, who 'walked into the room', is also an animal present and presumably the smartest.
What do you call pigs that write letters to each other?
Wordplay — a "pigpen" gives us "pen," and "pen pals" are people (or pigs) who write letters to each other.
A farmer has twenty sheep, ten pigs, and ten cows. If we call the pigs cows, how many cows will he have?
Renaming an animal doesn't change its species — the ten pigs are still pigs no matter what you call them.
If fish lived on land, where would they live?
This is a pun on 'Finland' sounding like 'fin-land,' a play on the fish body part.
What has cities, but no houses; forests, but no trees; and water, but no fish?
A map shows symbols for cities, forests, and water without containing any actual houses, trees, or fish.
There are two bodies on the floor. They are surrounded by water and broken glass. How did they die?
The "bodies" are goldfish, and the "broken glass" is their fishbowl, which spilled water onto the floor.
I am a word of six; my first three letters refer to an automobile; my last three letters refer to a household animal; my first four letters is a fish; my whole is found in your room. What am I?
"CAR" starts a vehicle, "PET" ends a household animal, "CARP" is a fish, and the whole word "CARPET" is found in your room.
Two fathers and two sons went fishing one day. They were there the whole day and only caught 3 fish. One father said, that is enough for all of us, we will have one each. How can this be possible?
Three generations — grandfather, father, and son — mean the middle person is both a father and a son, so there are 2 fathers and 2 sons among just 3 people.
A mouse, a squirrel, a duck, a chicken, and an elephant are sitting on the side of the road. Someone offers them a lift, but one prefers to stay. Who preferred to stay?
The riddle relies on the folklore idea that elephants are afraid of mice, so the elephant refuses to get in a vehicle with one.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's is really long. Michael J. Fox's is short. Daffy Duck isn't human. Madonna doesn't have one. What am I?
Each clue refers to a person's last name: Schwarzenegger's is long, Fox's is short, Daffy Duck is a cartoon (not human) with a last name 'Duck,' and Madonna performs under a single mononym with no last name.
What do you call a crate of ducks?
'Quakers' sounds like 'quackers', playing on the duck's quacking sound and the Quaker Oats box branding.
What happened when the rubber duckie fell into the bathtub?
'Quacked up' puns on a duck's quack and the phrase 'cracked up' meaning to laugh or break apart.
There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks. There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks. There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks. How many ducks are there?
Four ducks arranged in a square each have two ducks in front of them, two behind, and two beside them, satisfying every clue at once with the fewest possible ducks.
To you, rude would I never be, Though I flag my tongue for all to see. What am I?
A panting dog visibly hangs its tongue out, which looks rude ('sticking out your tongue') but isn't meant that way.
What animal keeps the best time?
The pun combines 'watch' (a timepiece) with 'dog' to form 'watchdog,' an animal that keeps guard, not literally time.
How can you tell the difference between dogs and trees?
Wordplay — "bark" refers to both the sound a dog makes and the outer covering of a tree.
All of Mrs. Smith's pets are dogs except one, and all her pets are cats except one. How many cats and dogs does she have?
With just one dog and one cat, "all pets except one" are dogs (the cat) and "all pets except one" are cats (the dog) — both statements hold true.
If there are four sheep, two dogs, and one herds-men, how many feet are there?
This is a wordplay trap: only humans technically have 'feet,' while sheep have hooves and dogs have paws, so only the herdsman's two feet count.
If it takes 5 microwaves 5 minutes to cook 5 chickens, how long does it take 100 microwaves to cook 100 chickens?
Each microwave cooks its own chicken in parallel, so the time per chicken stays 5 minutes no matter how many microwaves work at once.
If a chicken says, 'All chickens are liars'. Is the chicken telling the truth?
This dodges the classic liar's paradox by pointing out the premise itself is impossible since chickens can't speak.
If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
The riddle assumes roosters lay eggs, but only hens do, so the premise is false.
There are 30 cows in a field, and 28 chickens. How many didn't?
The riddle hides the wordplay 'eight' vs 'ate' inside 'twenty-eight', turning the number into a hidden statement about eating.
I'm found in socks, scarves, and mittens. I'm found in the paws of playful kittens. What am I?
Yarn is the material knitted into socks and mittens, and it's the classic toy kittens love to bat around.
If 5 cats catch 5 mice in 5 minutes, how long will it take one cat to catch a mouse?
Each cat catches one mouse in five minutes regardless of how many cats are working simultaneously, so a single cat still takes five minutes for one mouse.
While on my way to St. Ives, I saw a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks. Each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 kittens. Kitten, cats, sacks, wives, How many were going to St. Ives?
The man and his wives, sacks, cats, and kittens were only met along the way, not traveling to St. Ives, so only the narrator was actually headed there.
I act like a cat, I look like a cat, Yet I am not a cat. What am I?
A kitten looks and behaves like a cat but wordplay treats the young 'kitten' as distinct from a full-grown 'cat.'
When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A twist on the black-cat superstition — luck depends on perspective, and for a mouse a cat is always bad news.