277 Funny Riddles With Answers
A funny riddle is a joke that makes you work for the punchline. The answer is not just correct, it is a bit stupid - and the small delay while you get there is what makes it land.
These are the riddles for lunch tables, long car journeys and anyone who enjoys a groan. They are clean, they are quick, and they work on adults and children alike.
Every one has its answer here. Read them aloud; funny riddles die on the page and come alive when someone has to say them.
What can you not eat for breakfast?
Since lunch and dinner happen later in the day, neither can technically be eaten during breakfast time.
How many seconds are in a year?
This is a pun: rather than counting time in seconds, it counts the twelve calendar 'seconds' -- the 2nd of January, the 2nd of February, and so on.
Your parents come over for a surprise breakfast while you are sleeping. You get out pancakes, toast, maple syrup, and jam. What do you open first?
Before touching any food on the table, you first have to open your eyes to wake up and notice the surprise breakfast in front of you.
What day, within a week of today, does not end in "Y"?
Every named day of the week (Monday, Tuesday, etc.) ends in the letter 'y,' but 'tomorrow' -- which falls within a week of today -- does not.
What do elves do after school?
This is a pun combining "gnome," a mythical creature like an elf, with "homework."
What rains at the north pole?
This is a pun — "reindeer" sounds like "rain, dear," making them the thing that "rains" at the North Pole.
What's an insect's favourite sport?
"Cricket" is both a popular sport and a type of insect, making it the punny answer.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and teacher?
"Blood test" combines a vampire's thirst for blood with a teacher's habit of giving tests.
Where do tadpoles change?
This is a pun: tadpoles "change" into frogs in the "croak-room," a play on "cloakroom" and the croaking sound frogs make.
What can you never have for breakfast?
By definition, lunch is a midday meal, so you cannot have it in the morning at breakfast time.
What is big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mom's day?
The big yellow school bus arrives each morning to take the kids to school, giving a parent a welcome break.
What are you certain to find inside your pocket when you reach into it?
No matter what else is or isn't in your pocket, your hand itself is always there when you reach in.
On what kind of ship do students study?
This is a pun -- 'scholarship' contains the word 'ship' and refers to funding for students' study.
When your undies attack you.
A wedgie is when underwear rides up uncomfortably, as if it were attacking you.
A device for finding furniture in the dark.
This is a joking riddle: you "find" furniture in the dark by painfully bumping your shin into it, not with an actual device.
What smells the most in the kitchen?
This is a play on words -- your nose is the thing doing the 'smelling,' not necessarily the smelliest object.
What is a foot long and slippery?
This plays on the word 'slipper,' which literally is worn on a foot and sounds like 'slippery.'
What goes up and down the stairs without moving?
A carpet or runner laid on a staircase extends up and down its length, but it never actually moves itself.
According to many students, dogs have an appetite for this paper item.
My dog ate my homework is the classic excuse blaming a dog's appetite for missing schoolwork.
What is Saturn's favorite day of the week?
It's a pun -- 'Saturday' sounds like 'Saturn-day,' the planet's namesake day. (The source text playfully spells it 'Saturnday' to highlight the pun.)
What did the rain cloud wear under his raincoat?
This is a pun on 'underwear' -- the cloud wears 'thunderwear' (thunder + underwear).
What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?
"Carpet" blends "car" and "pet," the two things being crossed.
The coziest place for Dracula.
Vampire lore, including Dracula, depicts him resting comfortably in a coffin by day.
This guy crossed a road and everyone wants an explanation.
This references the classic "why did the chicken cross the road" joke, needing no real explanation beyond that.
Why do French people like to eat snails?
This is a pun-based joke: snails are extremely slow, so the French 'don't like fast food' -- they prefer their food (snails) slow.
What age most travelers have?
This is a wordplay riddle: the word 'baggage' -- which travelers carry -- ends with the letters 'age,' answering what 'age' most travelers have.
What suits do lawyers wear?
This is a pun: lawyers argue 'lawsuits,' which sounds like 'law suits' -- the clothing lawyers might wear.
What snacks do you serve at a robot party?
This is a pun: robots are built with nuts and bolts, so 'assorted nuts' makes a fitting robot party snack.
What is a bunny's favorite music?
This is a pun: rabbits hop, so their favorite music genre would be 'hip-hop.'
What is a cat on ice?
"Cool cat" is slang for someone stylish, punning on the literal coldness of ice.
What is the first thing a gardener plants in the garden?
This is a trick question: before planting anything else, the gardener first plants (sets down) their own foot in the garden soil.
Without what would everyone lose their head?
The head is physically attached to the body by the neck, so without a neck, everyone would literally "lose their head."
If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea what does it become?
It's a simple trick question -- dropping anything in any sea just makes it wet, regardless of the sea's name or the hat's color.
How far will a blind dog walk into a forest?
Once a dog reaches the middle of the forest, every remaining step is technically walking back out of it -- so it only ever walks "halfway" in.
What kind of fish chases a mouse?
This is a pun: a cat chases a mouse, and "catfish" contains the word "cat."
If two is a company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?
It's a play on words: while two is "company" and three a "crowd," four plus five simply adds up to nine.
What do you get if you milk a cow after an earthquake?
The shaking motion of an earthquake makes the pun of getting a "milkshake" when milking a cow during one.
I am the place to turn when nature calls. What am I?
"When nature calls" is a common euphemism for needing to use the bathroom.
What runs around a house but doesn't move?
A fence encircles ("runs around") a house's perimeter, but it stays perfectly still.
I stink in living but when dead smells good. What am I?
Live pigs and pig farms are notorious for their strong odor, but once turned into bacon or ham and cooked, the smell becomes appetizing.
Out of all the celestial bodies, this one has the funniest name.
Uranus is the planet whose name is a perennial source of juvenile jokes because of how it sounds.
What kind of nail can be grown?
Unlike a metal nail used in carpentry, a fingernail is living tissue that naturally grows out of your finger.
What stays the same size no matter how much they weight?
A weighing scale itself doesn't change size regardless of how heavy or light the object placed on it is.
What key is the hardest to turn?
This is a wordplay riddle: the word "donkey" contains "key," and donkeys are famously stubborn, making them the hardest "key" to turn (persuade).
What kind of table has no legs?
The periodic table of elements is a chart, not a piece of furniture, so it has no physical legs.
Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
This is a trick riddle - the White House isn't matched to a color-named 'Mr. White,' but is actually the residence of the President of the United States.
The offspring of a feline and a Xerox machine.
"Copycat" literally combines "copy" (what a Xerox machine does) with "cat" (a feline).
What shoes should you wear when your basement is flooded?
It's a pun on "pumps," a style of shoe, since you would also need a water pump to deal with a flooded basement.
Before Mt. Everest was discovered as the highest mountain in the world, which mountain was the highest?
Mount Everest was always the tallest mountain physically; "discovering" it as the tallest didn't change its actual height.
What kind of dog chases anything red?
This puns on 'bull,' since bulls are famously provoked by the color red, even though real bulls are actually colorblind.
What bone has a sense of humor?
The 'humerus' (upper arm bone) sounds identical to 'humorous,' the trick behind this riddle.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
This is a pun on the cartoon character Bugs Bunny, combining 'bugs' (fleas) with 'bunny.'
How a big, hibernating mammal would show affection.
This is a pun: bears hibernate through winter, and a tight, affectionate squeeze is called a 'bear hug.'
There is an ancient invention, still used in some parts of the world today, that allows people to see through walls.
Windows have let people see through walls for thousands of years, long before modern technology.
Teddy bears are never hungry because they are always what?
This is a pun: teddy bears are filled with stuffing, so they're always 'stuffed' rather than hungry.
How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
An empty pocket can still contain a hole -- the hole itself counts as "something," even though the pocket holds nothing else.
What does a cat have that no other animal has?
While traits like purring or claws appear in variations elsewhere, "kittens" are specifically and exclusively baby cats -- no other animal has kittens by definition.
Where do sailors take their baths?
This is a pun blending 'tub' (where you bathe) with 'submarine' (a sailor's vessel) into 'tubmarine.'
How do snails travel?
Snails move by slow muscular contractions of their foot, making 'slowly' both literally and idiomatically true.
A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears." A young man bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?
The shop's sign only claimed the parrot repeats everything it hears - since the bird was deaf, it never heard a word the man said, so the shopkeeper technically never lied.
A man is trapped in a room. The room has only two possible exits: two doors. Through the first door there is a room constructed from magnifying glass. The blazing hot sun instantly fries anything or anyone that enters. Through the second door there is a fire-breathing dragon. How does the man escape?
The magnifying-glass room is only lethal because it focuses sunlight; once night falls there is no sun to focus, so the man can safely walk through the first door.
There is a man in a 4 story building. He jumps out of the window and is unharmed. He used no padding, and had no harm done. How?
The riddle never says which floor he jumped from -- jumping out of a ground-floor window involves no real height at all.
Which bow can't be tied?
A pun on "bow" -- a rainbow is a colorful "bow" across the sky, but it is a natural phenomenon, not a ribbon that can be tied.
What is red and smells like blue paint?
This is an absurdist joke riddle -- red paint simply smells the same as blue paint, since color has no real effect on paint's odor.
A red house is made out of red bricks. A blue house is made out of blue bricks. What is a green house made out of?
The riddle plays on the compound word 'greenhouse' - it is actually built of glass, not colored bricks, unlike the literal red and blue houses.
When you do not know what I am, then I am something. But when you know what I am, then I am nothing. What am I?
A riddle is intriguing while unsolved, but once you know the answer it no longer feels like a mystery -- it becomes 'nothing' special.
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A pun on "dead end" -- ghosts, being dead, would naturally prefer a street that is literally a dead end.
Which tree is the most difficult to get along with?
A pun on "crabby" -- a crab(apple) tree sounds like "crab," meaning bad-tempered.
What does an old tan broken down house wear outside?
This plays on "coat" meaning a layer of paint -- an old tan house wears a "tan coat" (of paint) on its exterior. Note: this is a fairly loose, awkwardly worded pun, but it is the source's intended answer.
What has a foot but no leg?
A ruler measures in 'feet' (the unit) but obviously has no actual leg.
What fastens two people yet touches only one?
A wedding ring symbolically binds two people together, but physically it's only ever worn on one person's finger at a time.
Which popular cheese is made backwards?
Spell 'made' backwards and you get 'Edam,' a real Dutch cheese -- a pure wordplay riddle.
What kind of room doesn't have physical walls?
An online chat room is a virtual space for conversation with no physical walls at all.
What type of house weighs the least?
This is a pun: a 'light' house weighs the least because its very name contains the word 'light.'
What starts with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it?
'Post office' starts with P and ends with E, and it processes vast volumes of mail -- effectively holding a 'million letters' at once, using the same double meaning of 'letter' as the envelope riddle.
I cannot hear or even see, But sense light and sounds there may be, Sometimes I end up on a hook, I can be combined with a book. What am I?
A worm has no eyes or ears yet reacts to vibration and light, is used as fishing bait on a hook, and combines with book to form bookworm.
When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle-aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever.
Wine starts as sweet grapes ripening in the sun, becomes intoxicating ("gay," meaning merry) once fermented, and grows more prized and valuable the longer it ages.
What has a head yet it never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but can not walk, and has a bank but not a cent to its name?
A river has a "head" (source), a "bed" (riverbed), it "runs," and it has a "bank," but none of these literally.
What do you get if you put a radio in the fridge?
A fridge makes things cold, so the radio inside would play "cool" music, a pun on temperature and style.
There is a kind of fish that can never swim. What is that?
A dead fish cannot swim because it is no longer alive -- a simple, slightly dark pun on the phrase "can never swim."
What's the red stuff between elephant's toes?
This is a classic dark-humor joke riddle implying that any 'slow pygmies' unlucky enough to be underfoot get squashed by the elephant.
What is bought by the yard but is worn by the foot?
Carpet is sold by the square yard, but people walk on it with their feet, wearing it down over time.
The shorter I am, the bigger I am. What am I?
Having a 'short temper' means someone gets angry (a big reaction) very easily -- the shorter the temper, the bigger the outburst.
What ship has no captain but two mates?
This is a pun: 'courtship' (dating) sounds like a ship, and it involves two romantic 'mates' without an actual captain.
What starts with an "e" but only has a single letter in it?
An envelope starts with the letter E, and it's designed to hold exactly one 'letter' inside -- playing on 'letter' meaning both an alphabet character and a piece of mail.
I have eight to spare and am covered with hair.
A cat is said to have nine lives, so after using one it still has eight to spare, and its body is covered in fur.
Which side of a cat has the most fur?
This is a play on words -- the 'outside' of a cat is the side facing out, which is where all its visible fur is.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Adding 'ER' to SHORT produces SHORTER -- a word that is textually longer but describes something even more short, a play on meaning versus letter count.
What always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse is fitted with horseshoes, which stay on its feet ('shoes on') even while it sleeps standing up.
What type of dress can never be worn?
This is a pun: a street 'address' is spelled like 'a dress,' but you can't wear it -- it's information, not clothing.
What is the coolest and most awesome of all the vegetables?
This is a pun -- "radish" sounds like "rad-ish," meaning "somewhat rad," using slang for cool or awesome.
What fruit loves to go crazy and go wild?
This plays on the idiom 'going bananas,' meaning to act wild or crazy.
What is the wealthiest nut?
"Cashew" sounds like "cash," matching the riddle's theme of wealth.
How does a dog cross a river without getting wet?
If the river's surface has frozen solid, a dog can simply walk across the ice without ever touching the water.
I have numbers on my face but can't find 13 any place. What am I?
A standard clock face shows the numbers 1 through 12, so the number 13 never appears on it.
What can you hear but not touch or see?
Your voice is audible to others and yourself, but it has no physical form to see or touch.
I can be flipped and broken but I never move. I can be closed, and opened, and sometimes removed. I am sealed by hands. What am I?
A deal can be 'flipped' (renegotiated) or 'broken' without ever physically moving, opened or closed as negotiations proceed, and traditionally sealed with a handshake.
Once I'm 24. Twice I'm 20. Three times I'm inappropriate. What am I?
"X" is the 24th letter of the alphabet, "XX" is the Roman numeral for 20, and "XXX" is a rating label for adult content.
You are a bus driver, 8 people get on, 2 people get off, 2 more people get on and another 1 get off. Finally, 3 more people get on and 2 get off again. How old is the bus driver?
The riddle secretly casts you as the bus driver from its very first line, so no matter how the passenger count changes along the route, the driver's age is simply your own.
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