277 Funny Riddles With Answers - page 2 of 3
What gets bigger the more you take away?
Digging more material out of the ground only makes this opening larger.
What runs but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
A river runs without legs, has a 'mouth' where it meets the sea, a 'head' (source) that never weeps, and a 'bed' it never sleeps in - all literal riverside terms.
From the beginning of eternity To the end of time and space To the beginning of every end And the end of every place. What am I?
The letter 'E' sits at the end of 'time' and 'space,' appears throughout 'eternity,' and marks 'the end' of both 'every end' and 'every place.'
When it comes to me, you go on red and stops on green. What am I?
Eating a watermelon reverses a traffic light: you keep going through the red flesh and stop once you hit the green rind.
I go up and down at the same time. Up towards to sky and down towards the ground. What am I?
This playground toy has two ends that move in opposite directions simultaneously.
What is something you can hold without ever touching?
You can "hold" your breath by not exhaling, without ever physically touching it.
I come without being fetched at night, hides away as soon as daylight strikes. Although I may look small, I am much mightier than what you can imagine. What am I?
A star appears each night without being summoned and vanishes with daylight, and though it looks tiny from Earth, it is unimaginably vast and powerful up close.
In two years I know, I'll be twice as old as five years ago, said Tom. How old is Tom?
If x is Tom's current age: x+2 = 2(x-5), which solves to x = 12.
What is easy to get into, and hard to get out of?
It's simple to make a mistake that lands you here, but much harder to fix the consequences.
David's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and?
The riddle names 'David's father,' so David himself must be the third son, not 'Pop' as the Rice Krispies pattern misleads you to guess.
What has a tongue but cannot talk, gets around a lot but cannot walk?
A shoe has a 'tongue' flap and travels wherever its wearer walks, but it has no ability to speak or move on its own.
I always have to work with something in my eye. What am I?
A needle has an 'eye' -- the hole thread passes through -- and sewing always involves working through it.
Flat as a leaf, round as a ring. Has two eyes, can't see a thing.
A button is flat and round with two (or four) holes -- sometimes called 'eyes' -- for sewing thread through, though it can't actually see.
What is it that given one, you'll have either two or none?
Being given a single choice means you now have two possible outcomes to pick between -- or, if you refuse to choose, effectively none.
What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
A yardstick measures three feet, so it can be thought of as having one 'foot' of length on each end and one in the middle.
You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
When this device rings, you pick it up and answer it, even though it never literally asks anything.
I will disappear every time you say my name. What am I?
The moment silence is spoken about out loud, it's broken — the word itself undoes the thing it names.
What is used by man, tossed by trees, everywhere but unseen?
Every person breathes air, trees toss it around as wind rustles their leaves, and it surrounds us everywhere despite being invisible.
Take away my first letter, then take away my second letter. Then take away the rest of my letters, yet I remain the same. What am I?
This is a play on the word "letters" -- whether you remove alphabet letters or take away actual pieces of mail (letters) from a postman, he still remains a "postman."
What has 4 fingers and a thumb, but is not living?
A glove is shaped exactly like a hand, with four finger slots and a thumb slot, but it's just fabric or leather, not alive.
Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid?
This puns on 'spine,' meaning both courage and a physical backbone, which a hollowed-out pumpkin lacks.
What's a monster's favorite play?
This puns on 'Ghouliet,' blending 'ghoul' with 'Juliet' from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
How do vampires get around on Halloween?
This puns on 'blood vessels,' a biological term, referencing a vampire's need for blood as a mode of 'transport.'
Why don't mummies take vacations?
This puns on 'unwind,' meaning both relaxing and a mummy's wrapped bandages literally unwinding.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
This puns on 'tweets,' meaning both a bird's chirp and candy 'treats' given out on Halloween.
Why did the skeleton stay home on Halloween?
This puns on 'guts,' meaning both courage and internal organs, which skeletons lack.
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
This puns on 'I-scream,' sounding like 'ice cream,' combined with a ghost's frightening scream.
How do ghosts like their eggs?
This puns on 'terri-fried,' combining 'terrified' with 'fried,' a way of cooking eggs.
What room does a ghost not need?
This puns on 'living room,' since ghosts are not alive and therefore have no need for a room meant for the living.
Why are ghosts bad liars?
This puns on 'see right through them,' meaning both detecting a lie and a ghost's transparent, see-through appearance.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
This puns on 'sham-boo,' combining 'shampoo' with 'boo,' a ghost's spooky sound.
Why did the ghost go to the bar?
This puns on 'boos,' sounding like 'booze,' referencing both a ghost's spooky sound and alcoholic drinks.
What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
This puns on 'pumpkin pi,' combining the mathematical constant pi with pumpkin pie, a fall dessert.
Why is fall the best season for jokes?
This puns on 'ripe,' meaning both fruit ready for harvest in fall and jokes being perfectly timed.
What did one autumn leaf say to another?
This puns on 'falling head over heels,' an idiom for being in love, referencing a leaf literally falling.
Why do birds fly south in the fall?
This is an absurdist joke stating the obvious reason birds fly rather than walk long distances.
Why did the scarecrow love autumn?
This puns on 'hay-day,' sounding like 'heyday,' meaning a peak period, combined with the hay a scarecrow is stuffed with.
What's an autumn tree's favorite drink?
This puns on 'root,' referring to a tree's roots, combined with the beverage 'root beer.'
How do leaves travel in autumn?
This puns on 'autumn-mobile,' combining 'autumn' with 'automobile,' describing leaves 'traveling' by falling and blowing around.
Why are trees so carefree in autumn?
This puns on 'fall away,' meaning both releasing worries and leaves falling from trees.
What did the leaf say to autumn?
This puns on 'falling,' meaning both romantic infatuation and leaves literally falling in autumn.
Why did the tree worry in autumn?
This puns on 'leaf-ing,' sounding like 'leaving,' referencing leaves falling off trees in autumn.
What do you call a fancy pumpkin?
This puns on 'gourd-met,' combining 'gourd' with 'gourmet,' meaning refined or high-class food.
Why did the pumpkin blush?
This puns on 'dressing,' meaning both salad dressing and getting undressed, making the pumpkin blush.
What did the pumpkin say to the pie?
This puns on 'gourd-geous,' combining 'gourd,' a pumpkin family term, with 'gorgeous.'
How do pumpkins listen to music?
This puns on 'vinyl,' a type of music record, sounding like 'vine,' which pumpkins grow on.
Why was the pumpkin afraid?
This puns on 'guts,' meaning both courage and the seeds/pulp scooped from inside a pumpkin.
What's a pumpkin's favorite sport?
This puns on 'squash,' both a sport and a vegetable related to pumpkins.
What do you call a biologist's selfie?
This puns on 'cell-fie,' combining 'cell,' the basic unit of biology, with 'selfie.'
Why did the amoeba go to therapy?
This puns on 'divided,' meaning both emotional conflict and an amoeba's method of reproduction by splitting.
How does a biologist flirt?
This puns on 'nucleus,' the control center of a cell, romantically applied to being the center of someone's heart.
Why are biologists great at parties?
This puns on 'break the ice,' a social icebreaker phrase, combined with DNA, a core concept in biology.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
This puns on 'mitosis,' the process of cell division, sounding like 'my toe, sis.'
Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
This puns on 'chemistry,' meaning both romantic connection and the scientific field distinct from biology and physics.
What do you call a witch's garage?
This puns on 'broom closet,' a small storage space, humorously repurposed to store a witch's broomstick.
How do witches stay positive?
This puns on 'cast good spells,' meaning both performing benevolent magic and maintaining a positive outlook.
Why was the witch's spelling book boring?
This puns on 'spells,' meaning both magic spells and spelling words correctly.
What do witches use to keep their hair in place?
This puns on 'scare spray,' sounding like 'hairspray,' fitting a witch's spooky theme.
Why did the witch go to the beach?
This puns on 'broom tides,' sounding like 'brood tides,' combining a witch's broom with ocean waves.
Which witch is which?
This plays on the homophones 'which' and 'witch,' resolved with the classic witch hat as identifier.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
This puns on 'circulation,' meaning both a newspaper's readership numbers and blood circulation, which vampires crave.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
This puns on 'wrap,' sounding like 'rap' music, referencing the bandages mummies are wrapped in.
Why are graveyards noisy?
This puns on 'coffin,' sounding like 'coughing,' a noisy sound associated with graveyards.
What do you call a spooky chicken?
This puns on 'poltergeist,' a type of ghost, combined with 'poultry,' referring to chicken.
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
This puns on 'no body,' meaning both no companion and literally lacking a body since he's a skeleton.
What did the puzzle say after completion?
This puns on 'piecing,' sounding like 'pleasing,' referencing the puzzle pieces coming together.
Why was the crossword puzzle sad?
This puns on 'clueless,' meaning both lacking crossword clues and being uninformed or confused.
How do puzzles flirt?
This puns on puzzle pieces literally fitting together, applied romantically as a flirtatious line.
Why did the puzzle go to school?
This puns on 'smart piece,' sounding like 'smart peace,' referencing a puzzle piece becoming educated.
What do you call a puzzle that's always late?
This combines 'jigsaw,' a puzzle type, with 'procrastinator,' someone who delays tasks.
Why was the puzzle so confident?
This puns on 'having all the pieces,' meaning both literal puzzle pieces and being fully prepared or informed.
Why did the pho go to therapy?
This puns on 'beefs,' meaning both unresolved issues and the beef ingredient commonly found in pho.
What did the noodle say to the soup?
This puns on 'Pho,' the Vietnamese soup, sounding like 'forget' in 'forget about it.'
What did one grape say to the other?
This puns on 'vine,' sounding like 'fine,' referencing the vine that grapes grow on.
How do grapes propose?
This plays on the fact that grapes are fermented into wine, a fitting proposal gift from a grape's perspective.
Why are grapes never lonely?
This puns on 'bunches,' referencing how grapes naturally grow clustered together on the vine.
What do you call two grapes hanging out?
This puns on 'bunch,' meaning both a cluster of grapes and a group of friends.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
This puns on 'juice,' meaning both fuel/energy and the liquid inside a grape.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
This puns on 'wine,' sounding like 'whine,' referencing the grape's transformation into wine when crushed.
How do you make holy water?
This puns on 'boil the hell out of it,' an exaggerated phrase for boiling vigorously, applied literally to make water 'holy.'
Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar?
This puns on 'on the house,' meaning both free drinks and literally being on top of the house's roof.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
This puns on 'satisfactory,' combining 'satisfy' with 'factory' to describe mediocre goods.
I don't trust stairs.
This puns on 'up to something,' meaning both suspicious behavior and stairs literally leading upward.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
This puns on 'shellfish,' sounding like 'selfish,' describing the crab's stinginess.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
This puns on 'put down,' meaning both stopping reading a book and gravity holding objects down.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
This puns on 'python,' sounding like 'pie' plus 'thon,' combining the snake and dessert.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
This puns on 'crummy,' meaning both feeling unwell and being full of crumbs.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
This puns on 'bulldozer,' combining 'bull' with 'dozer,' someone who dozes off sleeping.
What animal needs to wear a wig?
This puns on 'bald,' the eagle species name, implying it needs a wig for its 'baldness.'
Why did the student eat his homework?
This puns on 'piece of cake,' an idiom for something easy, taken literally as an edible cake.
What is a cat's favorite color?
This puns on 'purr-ple,' combining a cat's purring sound with the color 'purple.'
Why did the cat go to medical school?
This puns on 'purr-medic,' combining a cat's purring sound with 'paramedic.'
What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
This puns on 'carpet,' combining 'car' with 'pet,' referring to a cat riding in a car.
How do cats end a fight?
This puns on 'hiss and make up,' resembling the phrase 'kiss and make up,' referencing a cat's hissing sound.
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
This puns on 'bark,' meaning both a tree's rough outer covering and the sound a dog makes.
What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
This puns on 'alley,' meaning both a bowling alley and a stray cat's typical habitat.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
This puns on 'cool,' meaning both a temperature and trendy, poking fun at hipsters liking things before they're popular.
What do you call a fake noodle?
This puns on 'impasta,' sounding like 'imposter,' combined with 'pasta.'
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
This puns on 'soda pressing,' sounding like 'so depressing,' referencing crushing soda cans.
I dropped my toothpaste.
This puns on 'Crestfallen,' combining the toothpaste brand Crest with the word meaning disappointed.