277 Funny Riddles With Answers - page 3 of 3
Why was the math teacher suspicious?
This puns on 'plotting,' meaning both scheming and plotting points on a graph in math.
How do you catch a squirrel?
The joke suggests luring a nut-loving squirrel by imitating a nut yourself.
Why did the picture go to jail?
This puns on 'framed,' meaning both falsely accused and placed in a picture frame.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
This puns on 'investigator' sounding like 'in-vest-igator,' combining 'vest' with 'alligator.'
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
This puns on 'couldn't see himself,' meaning both being invisible and not envisioning himself in the role.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
This puns on 'nacho,' sounding like 'not your,' meaning cheese belonging to someone else.
Why did the belt go to jail?
This puns on 'held up,' meaning both committing a robbery and physically holding up pants.
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
This puns on 'jarring,' meaning both a shocking experience and being placed in a jar of brine.
Why don't oysters donate to charity?
This puns on 'shellfish,' sounding like 'selfish,' describing the oyster's stinginess.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
This puns on 'abdominal,' sounding like 'abominable,' referencing the Abominable Snowman.
Why did the chicken join a band?
This puns on 'drumsticks,' meaning both a chicken leg and the sticks used to play drums.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A boomerang that doesn't return no longer functions as a boomerang, so it's just an ordinary stick.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
This puns on 'mugged,' meaning both robbed and served in a coffee mug.
I'm on a seafood diet.
This puns on 'seafood diet' sounding like 'see food,' meaning eating whatever food is seen.
Why did the tomato turn red?
This puns on 'dressing,' meaning both salad dressing and getting undressed, making the tomato blush.
What do you always get on your birthday?
This states the simple, unavoidable truth that a birthday always marks another year of age.
Why are birthdays good for you?
This is a logical joke, since everyone who lives longer naturally accumulates more birthdays.
Why did the birthday cake go to school?
This puns on 'smart cookie,' an idiom for a clever person, applied to a baked dessert going to school.
Why do candles love birthdays?
This puns on 'lit,' meaning both a candle being lit on fire and slang for having fun.
Why can't you play football with pigs?
This puns on 'hog,' meaning both a pig and someone who selfishly keeps something to themselves.
What do you call a football player who asks too many questions?
This puns on 'quarterback,' sounding like someone constantly asking or 'querying' back.
Why do football players like smart women?
This plays on the stereotype that football players aren't smart, so the joke relies on opposites attracting.
Why was Cinderella bad at football?
This references the Cinderella story where her carriage turns into a pumpkin, punning on 'coach.'
What tea do football players drink?
This puns on 'penalty,' a football rule violation, sounding like 'penal-tea.'
Anita Bath?
The name 'Anita Bath' sounds like 'I need a bath.'
Terry Aki?
The name 'Terry Aki' sounds like 'teriyaki,' a Japanese cooking style, playfully linked to karate.
Paige Turner?
The name 'Paige Turner' sounds like 'page turner,' a gripping book.
Barb Dwyer?
The name 'Barb Dwyer' sounds like 'barbed wire,' which is sharp and prickly.
Justin Time?
The name 'Justin Time' sounds like the phrase 'just in time.'
Al Pacino's coffee shop?
This puns on the actor's name sounding like 'a cappuccino latte.'
How do you organize a space party?
This puns on 'planet,' sounding like 'plan it,' referencing organizing a party in space.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
This puns on 'thesaurus' sounding like 'saurus,' a common dinosaur name suffix, combined with a word-reference book.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
This puns on 'hole in one,' a golf term for a perfect shot, and literally getting a hole in his pants.
Why was the computer cold?
This puns on 'Windows,' meaning both the operating system and actual windows that let in cold air.
Why did the math book look sad?
This puns on 'problems,' meaning both math exercises and personal troubles.
How does a penguin build its house?
This puns on 'igloos it together,' sounding like 'glues it together,' referencing an igloo made of ice.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
This references the song 'Let It Go' from Frozen, punning on releasing a balloon.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
This puns on 'impasta,' sounding like 'imposter,' combined with 'pasta.'
Why did the bicycle fall over?
This puns on 'two-tired,' sounding like 'too tired,' while also referencing the bike's two tires.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
This puns on 'crack up,' meaning both laughing hard and an egg's shell literally cracking.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity.
This puns on 'put down,' meaning both stopping reading a book and gravity holding objects down.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
This puns on 'outstanding in his field,' meaning both excellent at his job and literally standing in a farm field.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
High eyebrows visually create a surprised facial expression, tying the pun together.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
This puns on 'make up,' meaning both to compose/constitute matter and to fabricate lies.
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Mummies are wrapped in bandages, so they'd relate to Christmas presents being 'wrapped.'
What does a ghost use to wash its hair?
A pun on 'shampoo' and the sound a ghost makes.
What do elves learn at school?
A pun on the 'alphabet' for elves.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A pun combining the cold (frost) and the vampire's bite.
What do you call an elephant in Antarctica?
Elephants don't live in Antarctica, so he would be lost.
What kind of music do bunnies listen to?
A pun on the way bunnies move (hop).
With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?
An office tool that 'bites' papers to hold them together.
People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I?
Each verb, make, save, change, raise, is a common phrase used specifically with money.
I turn once, what is out will not get in. I turn again, what is in will not get out. What am I?
It is used to lock and unlock doors.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
As you walk, your feet leave impressions behind on the ground.
If you drop me I'm sure to crack, but give me a smile and I'll always smile back. What am I?
A dropped mirror shatters easily, and it reflects back whatever expression, including a smile, you show it.
What has four wheels and flies?
Wordplay — "flies" refers to the insects attracted to a garbage truck, not literal flight.
What has a bottom at the top?
Wordplay — your legs' "bottom" joints, your hips, sit higher up than your feet.
What kind of coat is best put on wet?
It's a liquid layer applied to surfaces to add color.
What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?
A standard deck has thirteen heart-suited cards but, as an inanimate object, no actual organs at all.
What tastes better than it smells?
The tongue, the organ responsible for taste, doesn't itself have a smell -- playing on the idea that a "tongue" (as an organ) tastes better than it smells.
What building has the most stories?
A library holds countless books, and each book contains many 'stories' -- a pun on a building's floors versus its tales.
Where does one wall meet the other wall?
It's the internal or external point where two walls meet.
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin has a 'heads' side and a 'tails' side but is a flat disc with no body in between.
What has a thumb and four fingers, but is not a hand?
It's a piece of clothing worn to protect the hand.
What can travel all around the world without leaving its corner?
This small adhesive piece is required for mailing letters.
What runs all around a backyard, yet never moves?
It acts as a physical boundary for a property.
What is cut on a table, but is never eaten?
Commonly used in games of chance and skill like poker.
What kind of band never plays music?
It's a stretchy loop used to hold things together.
What can you catch, but not throw?
You can "catch a cold" (get sick), but you cannot physically throw a cold -- the riddle plays on the double meaning of "catch."
What has one head, one foot and four legs?
It's a piece of furniture you lie down on at night.
What has legs, but doesn't walk?
A common piece of furniture found in kitchens and dining rooms.
What has hands, but can't clap?
It's a device used for measuring and showing time.
What has many needles, but doesn't sew?
This evergreen is traditionally brought inside in December.
What has one eye, but can't see?
It's a very thin tool used for hand-sewing.
What has lots of eyes, but can't see?
It's a root vegetable that has small 'buds' often called eyes.